Contrary to popular belief, flirting does not require you to bat your eyelashes and laugh at every joke the other person makes. According to Tara Fields, Ph.D., author of The Love Fix, flirting is much simpler. “It doesn’t have to be a cheesy or goofy technique,” she says. She adds that, unless you’re looking for a hookup, a few strategically placed hair flips may suffice.
However, if you’re flirting with someone to get to know them and perhaps go on a date with them, your goal should be to let them know that you’re into them rather than trying to win their favor.
Tell yourself, “I just want to let this individual know that I’m interested,” before your next conversation or text exchange. Remember that concentrating on that aim will relieve some of the burdens. And this will make it simpler for you to be who you are.
It’s okay if the idea of flirting still gives you goosebumps. When speaking to someone, many thoughts might run through your brain, such as “Am I smiling too much?” and “Did they notice the food in my mouth?”
But Fields claims that if you concentrate on these twelve expert-approved flirting methods, you can afford to put those concerns to rest.
Tips for Text Flirting Congratulations! Now that you have your crush’s phone number, you may start flirting. As you attempt to shoot your shot over text, bear in mind the following advice:
Start the conversation or text with confidence.
Flirting is a show of confidence in and of itself, therefore, the fact that you are doing it says a lot about your personality. Though it might be intimidating to put yourself out there, it is advisable not to overthink your answers and to be confident in what you’re saying.
You’re still here to have fun, even though you might be dying a bit inside. In the end, you want to determine whether the person with whom you are flirting is a suitable fit for you. Therefore, the more genuine, the better.
Share a few pieces of information about your day
Flirting through text may be more difficult because the other person isn’t present to experience the same things you are. Because of this, it’s crucial to make sure that, in addition to asking questions, you’re also giving that person a glimpse into your life, whether it’s your supper or the book you’re reading. This has the added benefit of making you appear more attractive—you have a life and aren’t just sitting around waiting for a response.
Use images, memes, and emojis to provide humor as necessary
The wonderful thing about flirting via text as opposed to in person is that you can rely on some external support, like memes, stickers, and photos. To keep things light and enjoyable, you may, for example, send a particularly adorable photo of your dog, discover a meme that relates to a common hobby, or include a sweet emoji. Because you can sort of rely on jokes that other people have already made, Lundquist argues that memes and emojis are fantastic. Beyond that, they can still assist you in determining whether the person you are messaging has your sense of humor.
Match the tempo and frequency with which the text
However, one thing to keep in mind is that, just like in real life, you want to make sure you’re conversing at a natural speed. So it makes sense to mimic their tempo and rhythm if they only communicate sporadically throughout the day. To be clear, this does not include seeming uninterested. However, mimicking someone’s texting style may make the conversation feel more natural.
Display your fun side
After speaking with someone for a while, you’ll have more opportunities to inject humor into your exchanges. Fields recommend putting as much weight as possible behind this: It’s a certain technique to determine the other person’s sense of humor and show how at ease they are.
Therefore, feel free to roast them briefly or make fun of yourself for making the same boring dish of spaghetti every night when they text. If you’re seeking a relationship, Fields advises finding someone who will accept you for who you are.
Keep in mind to have fun
Lundquist thinks that flirting should ultimately be fun. You won’t come across as confident if you’re overthinking things or not allowing yourself to enjoy the process, which will negate the point. Don’t forget to have fun.
How to Flirt in Person
Breathe in, then: You’ve made it this far, and ideally, your crush and you are now enjoying some quality time alone. However, even if you’re talking to someone in a group, there are still some subtly obvious methods to express interest. And no, none of them entail blinking your eyelids.
Engage in eye contact
Fields say this is a straightforward method, but one of the most crucial. A wonderful technique to show someone you’re interested in them and the discussion they have with you is to look them in the eye. Unsure of how to proceed? “Simply stare at the individual,” says Fields, “in a way that seems natural and organic, not in some false, silly ‘come here” way.” Don’t overthink it again.
According to a study done by the University of Michigan in 2012, the “50/70 rule states that throughout a discussion, you should make eye contact 50% of the time when speaking and 70% of the time while listening. If you’re more of a numbers person, you may adhere to this guideline.
Follow the flow
If anything humiliating occurs, be calm. When you’ve finished cleaning up, attempt to make light of the incident by saying something like, “That’s what I get for trying to get dressed up for you,” if you accidentally spill some wine on your shirt while out on a date.
And remember that you don’t need to worry about this person criticizing you since, in real life, “why to worry about it now when you don’t truly know who this other person is?” Fields argue. They may also occasionally be clumsy, which is another possibility.
Could you compliment them?
Giving someone a sincere compliment necessitates vulnerability since it entails being open about your feelings about their appearance, demeanor, attire, etc. However, Fields believes that even if you’re nervous about telling them you love them while they’re thinking, they’ll appreciate the kind words and your sincerity.
Make inquiries
Fields emphasize the importance of noting specific characteristics about the person and asking questions. If you’ve spoken with them a few times and have noticed they always do, ask them why they wear the same necklace. Or perhaps a special picture on their wall caught your eye; inquire about it.
