How to Move From Being Friends to Dating, Per an Expert It’s no secret that falling in love is simple. In fact, some claim that it is the most basic aspect of a connection.
Commitment, compatibility, and trust are more challenging to manage, especially if the person you’ve fallen for is also a close friend. “It is possible to develop affection for your best friend.”
What about the happily-ever-after party? This is particularly common in rom-coms. According to Dr. Darcy Sterling, a therapist, and former Tinder dating and relationship trends specialist,
It’s not hard to go from friends to dating; nevertheless, Sterling advises doing your research before expressing any thoughts and jeopardizing the unique connection you currently have.
“It’s critical to understand that the moment you put your sentiments out there, you’ve crossed the Rubicon,” she adds.
If you’ve already done your soul-searching and believe it’s worthwhile to pursue a romantic connection with a friend, Dr. Sterling emphasizes that communication will be the key to navigating the potentially difficult transition time.
Curious about how Dr. Sterling might tackle getting out of the friendship zone?
She discusses how to tell if a relationship is worth pursuing and how to move on once you’ve expressed your feelings—for better or worse.
How to Move From Being Friends to Dating, Per an Expert
Ask Yourself the Tough Questions
Think long and hard about the decision to put yourself out there (something you’ve most certainly already done).
Dr. Darcy provides a few insightful questions to decide if the danger is worth the benefit to help make your daydreams more productive (or potential heartbreak).
First, there are the fundamental logistical issues to consider: Are both of you single? Do you both want the same sort of relationship?
If the answer to either of these questions is “no,” it’s probably not worth the risk, according to Dr. Sterling.
“Relationships are difficult enough to maintain when individuals are compatible,” she says. By attempting to modify the game under these conditions, you will most certainly endanger the friendship you already have.
- Relationships are difficult to sustain even when people are compatible.
If you are both single, have similar sexual preferences, and are seeking the same type of relationship, Dr. Sterling advises asking yourself a few deeper questions (serious, open, or otherwise).
Consider this: How is it that they have feelings for me? What is the price of keeping my emotions to myself? Can we still be friends if they don’t feel the same way?
- Look for Flirting Signs
There are a few clues you may look for to determine whether or not your friend is interested in taking things to the next level.
“We humans aren’t particularly good at masking our emotions,” Dr. Sterling explains.
“We enjoy flirting. We make contact. We complement one another “She goes on.
Look for signals of flirting, such as a little touch on the arm, maintaining eye contact, or leaning in throughout the talk.
“If your Friend is giving you any of this, there’s a high probability they feel the same way,” says the dating specialist.
- Find a Fun Way to Bring Up the Subject
Once you’ve concluded that expressing your emotions is the most appropriate course of action for you, it’s time to figure out how to do it correctly
Dr. Sterling proposes starting the talk in a fun manner, for as by playing 20 questions.
“Make sure one of your questions is,
“Have you ever had feelings for a close friend?” “If the response is ‘yes,’ you can ask progressively direct questions, such as, ‘How would you advise someone who developed an affection for a close friend?'”
It’s a pleasant, flirtatious, and lighthearted method to measure their emotions before revealing your own.
- Be honest and direct.
Being upfront and honest is essential when transitioning from friends to dating.
According to Dr. Sterling, “direct communication is essential to every connection,” but “transitioning from a best friend to a love relationship is a minefield.” Being straight from the outset is the best approach to traversing this new region.
That includes deciding what kind of relationship you want to have. Are you seeking a long-term relationship or just friends with benefits?
It’s critical to address these questions right away so you can both go ahead consciously.
Transitioning from a best friend to a love relationship is highly risky.
Respond to Unreciprocated Feelings with Compassion
There is always the potential of getting hurt when striving for something worthwhile. If your sentiments aren’t reciprocated, Dr. Sterling suggests utilizing humor to confront the matter and move ahead.
“As prepared as I thought I was for this possibility, I didn’t think out a script for what to say at this moment, so would you help me recover from this awkwardness?” she says.
Nelson Tips
It is not always easy to save a friendship after revealing your feelings, so be certain about your decision. If you’re looking for a whirlwind romance, it might not be worth it.
