HomeLove IssuesI worked for my husband, but he never gave me pay

I worked for my husband, but he never gave me pay


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I was at a place in my life where I needed someone to establish me; my parents had raised me when they were quite old, so by the time I turned eleven, my father had died away and my mother was too old to work. I had been on my own ever since. That is why I was lost when he showed interest in a relationship with me.

My life was not easy; I struggled to support myself from a young age until I finished senior high school. I wanted to go to college, but who would pay for it? I decided to look for a job to save money for school, but I could not find one that fit my qualifications. My next idea was to start a business, but again, I ran into financial difficulties. Where could I get the money to start the business?

This is when I met Mark. He claimed to love me, but I told him, “Right now, I am not thinking about love. I am looking for someone to help me either to further my education or help me get a job.”

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He said he would help me get a job if I agreed to date him, but he never followed through on his promise. Twelve years later, we have four children together and dated for seven years before he paid my bride price.

I begged him to help me return to school every time we were dating, but he would always say, “What do you need to go back to school for? What will you go and study? After spending so much money to get a degree, you will end up unemployed and frustrated. Forget about it.” Whenever I brought up the subject of my education, he would brush it off and find ways to make me feel bad.

He gave me a lot of excuses at first, saying things like, “There is no money for that. Let us see what happens tomorrow.” Then, when I realized he was not interested in my education, I suggested he set up a business for me so I could make money for myself. I was not ready to give up, so I persisted.

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At some point, we had to move because of an issue at our old location, and the shop had to close as well. When we got to our new location, I asked him to help me set up a small business so that I could run it myself, but he said he did not have the money to do so.

I spoke to my husband again, pleading for small change, saying, “Please, if you give me something small I will be able to do petty trading. I just need to have some money for myself. It will help me buy things I need for school and also take care of my transportation.”

He insisted he did not have any money. I had asked a friend to help me enroll in fashion school, and she gave me some money to start. However, I still wanted something to do while I went to class, so I talked to him again.

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He thinks I should be a housewife so he can take care of all my financial needs, which is the problem. I should not have to rely on my man for everything. I know he is financially strong and that he can set me up without breaking his account. He just does not want to do it.

It is very unlike me to even consider such a proposal, but today I am here looking for advice. Should I turn him down and remain a housewife, or should I accept the offer to get the help I need? There is this guy in my life who is willing to give me what I want. He will start a business for me if only I agree to be his girlfriend. He knows I am married with kids, but he does not mind. He is not asking me to leave my husband for him. He wants to be together in secret.

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