My girlfriend wore waist beads for other men but not for me I decided to tell my experience in response to a woman whose husband has been shaving whenever he travels for work. It brings back memories of my own.
My problem has nothing to do with shaving. It’s more about waist beads.
I observed Nana Ama didn’t wear waist beads when we first started dating. I found it strange because I grew up believing that girls wore waist beads.
“Why aren’t you wearing any beads around your waist?” I inquired. “I don’t like it,” she replied with a shrug. It makes me feel uneasy.”
“Do you think you could try wearing it for me?” I said politely. You might grow accustomed to it.” She stated that she would not.
I was talking to her another time when I grabbed her around the waist. It felt strange not hearing the beads rattle, so I asked her, “Are you sure you don’t want to try wearing beads?”
“Never even once?” She shook her head once more and stated that it made her uncomfortable. I wished she would wear it, but I respected her decision.
I notice she began getting waist beads as time passed. I was surprised, given how much she disliked wearing them. I didn’t inquire as to what had changed. I just sat there quietly watching her.
She purchased many varieties of beads, all of which were lovely. I was beyond excited to see her in them. Yet she refused to wear any whenever we met.
When I approached her about it, she replied, “I bought these, but I don’t feel right wearing them.” I responded okay and walked away.
She once told me she was going out with some male colleagues. This didn’t bother me till she showed up at my house later. I saw she was wearing her beads that night.
I was relieved since I assumed she had become used to wearing them. Just to have her take it off before we went to bed.
“It makes me uncomfortable to wear it,” she explained, humming the same tune. “If that’s the case, how come you wore it to meet your male friends?” I insisted. She was unable to respond. She simply ignored me and went to bed.
This became a consistent problem in the relationship. She wore waist beads whenever she was about to meet a male buddy or buddies.
And then take them off when she arrived at my house. I was the one who insisted on her wearing them, but she refused to let me see her in them.
When she wore it out with another of her male friends one day, I questioned her, “Why do you constantly wear beads when you go out with your friends?”
“Are you going to remove your dress and show them your beads?” She didn’t seem to mind. She just walked away.
The most memorable thing she did was take me to a different town. We went there a lot because I have a place there. She became acquainted with one of my coworkers.
I didn’t object because he is a married man. But, when we arrived that night, Nana Ama stated that she was going to watch a show in the man’s room.
I wasn’t sure about it, but I let her go anyway. She stayed for a time. When she came back, I noticed she was wearing her beads. I noticed this since she removed it as soon as she returned.
“I’m sorry it took so long,” she said before I could ask her any questions. The man tried to take advantage of me, but I escaped.”
I was worried. I began to raise questions, but she assured me that everything was alright. I asked her to use the restroom first because it was time for us to bathe and sleep.
I went inside once she was finished. She had left by the time I arrived. I had no idea where she had gone, and it took some time for her to return.
“Sorry, I had to go back to his room,” she stated first. I forgot to bring my phone the first time I went there, so I went back for it.”
I was completely perplexed. If this man was attempting to impose himself on her, why didn’t she ask me to go get her phone instead of going there herself?
I also grabbed her waist and noticed she was wearing her beads again. I questioned her why she was wearing the beads if she was only going to get her phone, and she couldn’t explain. She only took it off before we went to bed.
That’s when I discovered my relationship wasn’t what I thought it was. I was convinced she was cheating on me, but I had no evidence.
So I looked through her phone for answers. She was fiercely protective of it, but a brief window of opportunity offered itself, and I took advantage of it.
I couldn’t look through it all, but I did come across a conversation with her ex. This was someone she allegedly ended her relationship with because he constantly cheated on her.
What I gleaned from their conversations told a different tale. Everything indicated that they were still together.
She is the woman I was planning my future with. The agony I felt after reading her conversation with her ex was too much for me to endure.
I didn’t read any other chats. I quickly hung up the phone and placed my palm on my chest, as if it would relieve the pain.
When I challenged her, she refused to deny that she was still in love with her ex. We’d been dating for a year and I had no idea what was going on.
Needless to say, the romance terminated right then and there. She moved on with her ex, and I was left heartbroken.
I’m better now, but I’ve been scared. I’m too scared to become connected with another woman. It’s been a year since we split up, and I’m still single.
I’ve chosen to devote my efforts to earning money. I think that when the time is right, love will come back to me.
-Cobby
