We dated for fourteen years, and even though we were not ready to be apart, Gabriel felt compelled to take advantage of the opportunity to travel to the United States, so he left. I feel as though he has bewitched me, and I can not seem to shake the feeling that he is still there in my life.
I wonder if this is because I was a teenager when we dated, and we were infatuated with each other, making everyone who knew us aware of how inseparable we were. Dating him was full of pride and joy, so I was confident that our relationship would endure.
I was in Ghana when Gabriel left to travel to the States. We did not know how long he would stay, so we did not agree to a long-distance relationship. We broke up on mutual grounds.
The truth is, I was so in love with Gabriel that I could not bring myself to like someone else. I pined for him for years. While I was healing from the heartbreak caused by his relocation, Gabriel got married. He claimed it was due to paperwork. In addition, he was older than me and ready for marriage.
I was okay with marrying him, but my family refused, saying there was no way they would support my marriage to a man who was already married. I was sad, but once they said no, I could not do anything to change their minds.
We had to accept the painful reality that our love story was over. He promised to marry me although he was married. “I want you to be my second wife,” he proposed. I was stuck in a place where I could not move on. So I agreed to be his second wife.
After he left, my romantic life took a hit. I went from one toxic relationship to another, never finding someone who truly loved and appreciated me the way Gabriel did.
Eventually, three years ago, I got married, and although my husband and I do not have children yet, Gabriel is now a father of three. Because I live in Ghana and my husband lives in the UK, I occasionally feel bored and alone, so I spend time with Gabriel whenever he visits. We just go out and catch up. Nothing more happened until two months ago.
When he was in town two months ago, he called as usual to ask if we could get together. Since I could use some company and my husband was out of town, I said yes, and that day did not end like most of our days—this time we could not control ourselves and we ended up having shuperu again after fourteen years of breaking up.
I know I should feel guilty about it, but I do not because I still love my ex. Even though we have been apart for all these years, he remains the only man I have ever wanted, and I have never loved anyone else but him. I do not even love my husband as much as I love this guy.
My husband is a better lover than Gabriel, so I do not understand why I can not move on from him. Is it normal to still be in love with a man I dated fourteen years ago? Did he cast spells on me? I have to close my eyes and visualize Gabriel’s face before I can enjoy the moment and have an orgasm.
I find it difficult to respond to the question of whether I still have feelings for him, but I also wonder if what he is saying is true. Could he really still be in love with me after all these years, or is he just acting that way? He also claims that he still loves me. “I do not have any feelings for my wife. You are the only woman I love,” he tells me.
My husband is a good man who deserves my unconditional love; it is just unfortunate that no matter how hard I try, I just can not make it happen. What am I going to do now? I feel like my ex and I are hurting our partners. I would like to make changes.
Please, I need help. I need to overcome my feelings before I lose everything dear to me. After all, I do not know what to do with these feelings.
